leatherboy Handbook
The leatherboy Handbook
History of The leatherboy Handbook
For many years boi/boys have asked me all kinds of questions with regards to The leatherboy Handbook. One such question has always been, what made me write it. Well, as it may surprise people, the Handbook was born from my own Journals. When I was in service to Master Theseus as his ward, I was required to journal. Now I hated journaling; to be honest, I hated expressing any emotion, much less my own feelings on the subject. So, I tended to write boring journals. Eventually, he discovered that my writing tended to flow when he got me talking or writing about something that brought out my passion.
At the time, as a boy, I was in limbo, unsure where I wanted to go in the community and uncertain about whether I wanted to remain in KC or not. With all the uncertainty, I also had my share of submissive anger. After being asked to be released from my first collar, I wanted to find a new Daddy like any submissive. I was able to find a Guardian to maintain my submissive headspace; my Guardian became Master Theseus, a male-identified Leather Dyke. He forbade me from getting a new Daddy until I was ready and had a clear head. He was right! During that time, he insisted I continue my work on organizations and helped to push me toward NLA. He also noticed I was growing angry and refused to share or express my feelings about what was bothering me. Thus, the anger journal was born.
That anger journal was handwritten in a mead spiral notebook. Journaling helped me voice my anger, see where I was wrong on things that I thought, and helped me fine-tune my understanding of our culture. Two years later, I took this journal and turned it into a manuscript for publication. I felt that if I could take it and make something to help other people get through and navigate our culture, then I would be doing something good. So, I re-wrote it and submitted it for publication. I found an editor, Sir Grey Cooper, to assist with the editing work. Having a gay man that was already in the community and had a history dating back to the mid-'80s in the New Orleans community made writing and editing this book a lot easier than using a vanilla editor. Sir Grey has since been my personal editor for all my books since this.
In 2008 the book was published. I will admit, I never wanted to call it The leatherboy Handbook; that was not my idea, but that is how publishing works, of course. The author doesn’t always get to have control of titles. I will say it was the ideal and most obvious title, but the fear I had was with regards to the word Handbook since Larry was still alive. He was sent a copy of my work but passed away before he could review it. The original publisher was wanting to sell both our books as companion books, should Larry agree. This, of course, never took place since Larry passed away. Another thing many may not know is the original book was not only red, but the publisher accidentally printed 100 copies with a misspelled title on the cover, “Hanbook” instead of Handbook. I have seen some of these, but not a lot. I know a huge shipment was sent to the UK and AU, so look for them there.
In 2009 the handbook was translated into German. It was sold under the new German title, Benutz Mich! , by another publishing company. They no longer print this book, but you can find them on a book site called ABEBOOKS.com for you collectors out there. Happy hunting!
In 2012, we founded Adynation Publishing, and I took my copyright back from my original publisher. We moved the handbook under this new company, and I decided to add more content. The content change was because many boys like me had moved out of the boy headspace and into the Dom Daddy Sir headspace. I personally took on being a switch, so I updated the book to reflect going from boy to Switch. I also changed the original cover to reflect the more commonly known boy pride flag colors. I added the word "complete" to the title. This title change was because I had decided that I would never again touch the boy handbook after this addition unless the boy community had made some major shift in their dynamic to warrant the changes.
In 2016 I gave my personal red book copy to Sir Issac of Ottawa, Canada, to return to Canada to have the manuscript for the new upcoming 2012 edition green book. I carried this personal red copy with me to events from 2008-2012, making notes of boys’ comments and questions so that when I wrote the next edition, I could add the content. The cover has the words "Vince's Personal Copy" written on it. Inside the book are my handwritten notes.
To date, The Complete leatherboy Handbook has sold over 3,000 copies worldwide since it was first released in 2008! I must thank all of you, the readers, boys, and Sirs that have used the book. I have always provided my royalties to the LA&M from the book since I took over the publishing, each year sending them a check. We also use the book's revenue to keep Adynaton running for other authors to be published and get their work out there. Like the red book, I carried a green personal copy with me around from 2012-2018, making notes for the next edition. That copy still is in my possession until I find a new worthy home for it.
In 2018 I released a new handbook, but it is NOT a replacement for the leatherboy handbook; it is just another book for a larger audience. Mostly to satisfy the Dominant and Heterosexual community requests for information geared toward their interests.
In 2021, The leatherboy Handbook III was released with expanded content and an all new layout to help boys navigate the information.
Foreword
Author’s Note
Introduction
SECTON I Introduction to the Community
Chapter One:
A Brief History
- Sadism
- Masochism
- Overview of the Leather Movement
- A Timeline of LGBTQ+ Struggles
- Leather versus BDSM Culture
Chapter Two:
The Development of Gay Leather
- Military Impact on Gay Leathermen
- Repercussions of the Military Experience
- Growth and Change among Gay Leathermen
- Mortality’s Effect On D/s
- Old Guard and New Guard
- Conclusion On the Guards
- A Brief History of the leatherboy
Chapter Three:
Understanding BDSM Dynamics
- Leather Vocabulary
- Details of BDSM
- S/M Roles
- D/s Roles
- Kink Roles
- Crossover Between Groups
- Topping from the Bottom
- Kink in Leather Clothing
- Scene Names Within the Culture
- Understanding Flagging
Chapter Four:
Inclusion versus Exclusion
Chapter Five:
Negotiations, SSC, and. RACK
- SSC versus RACK
- Negotiations
- When to Re-Negotiate
- Pitfalls in Negotiations
- Negotiation in Kink Scenes
- Final Thoughts on Negotiations
- Guidelines & Goals of Submission
- Guidelines That Make Sense
Chapter Six:
Safe Cruising and Playing Around
- The Importance of Vetting
- Picking Up Strangers
- Safety While Playing
- Online Safety
- When to Plug-In, and Unplug
- How to Protect Yourself
SECTION II Embracing the leatherboy Identity
Chapter Seven:
Struggle for Identity
- Do You Know Who You Are Sexually?
- Time to Take Action Against Slut Shaming
- Truth or Consequences
- Fiction
- Facts
Chapter Eight:
Masculinity and Femininity Within Leather
- Masculinity in Leather
- Femininity in Leather
Chapter Nine:
What Is Being a leatherboy All About?
- What is a leatherboy?
- leatherboys and slaves – NOT the Same!
- Submissive or Bottom?
- A sub is a sub is a sub…
- So What’s In It for the boy?
- Build-a-Daddy
Chapter Ten:
boy As an Attitude
- Growing Up to Be a boy
- Flipping the switch as alpha
- Protocols of the leatherboy
Chapter Eleven:
Fashions of the leatherboy
- Begin with the Boots
- The Rest of the Uniform
- Hair and Grooming
- Covers, Caps, and Hats
- Personal Hygiene
- Harnesses
- The Sam Browne Belt
- Gloves
- Vest and Vest Protocols
- Pins and Pinning
- Leather Jackets
- The Finishing Touch
- Conclusion
SECTION III Introduction to Dominants & Mentors
Chapter Twelve:
How to Petition
- Petitioning a Dominant or Guardian
- Petitioning a Mentor
- Petition Template
Chapter Thirteen:
Mentorship and Guardianship
- The Mentor’s Resume
- What to Expect as a ward
- Where Guardianship Goes Wrong
- The HIV Epidemic Effect on Mentorship
Chapter Fourteen:
Finding Daddy or Sir
- So Now Let’s Get Real…
- Talking Your Way Toward Daddy
- Time to Petition Daddy or Sir
- Asking the Right Questions
- Journals
- Protocols on Journals
Chapter Fifteen:
Collars
- What a Collar Is – and Isn’t
- Consideration Collars
- Training Collars
- Permanent Collars
- When a Collar Is Not a Good Thing
- Accepting a Collar As a submissive
- Your Daily Dose of Collaring
- Losing a Collar or Being Released
Chapter Sixteen:
Daddy Wants Another boy
- Hierarchy Within a Household
- Leather Families
- Other Relationship Types
Chapter Seventeen:
Will I Ever Become a Dominant?
- Shifting Over: Traditional vs. Non-Traditional
- When You Are NOT a Dominant
- When It’s Time to Make the Shift
- Taking the First Hard Step
- Out With the Old…
- Flipping the Switch
- No Touching the leatherboys
- Oh the Drama!
- Get Over Me!
- Watch the Attitude
- Daddy Passes Away
SECTION IV Additional Knowledge and Activities
Chapter Eighteen
Cigars and the leatherboy
- leatherboys and Cigars
- Sometimes a Cigar is Just a Cigar…
- After the Fire
Chapter Nineteen:
The Art of Boot Blacking and Worshiping
- Getting Started with Boot Blacking
- Getting Into the Mindset
- The Nine Steps of Blacking
- Boot Worship
- Why Worship?
Chapter Twenty:
Title Holders and Contests
- The Trouble with Titles
- Understanding Leather Contests
- Historical Impact of Titles
- Do I Really Want a Title
SECTION V leatherboy Reading List & Glossary
About the Author
leatherboy reading list
Glossary